Tips to help you with the divorce when you have small children

Guidelines to consider when a woman wants to divorce and has small children...

The decision to get a divorce is painful in almost all cases, but the damage is often worse when there are children involved.

“When the break is inevitable, parents should take steps to ensure that this impact does not entail the least emotional shock. Many parents believe that babies and small children do not understand what happens and dismiss it, but they see everything and they have to be very honest and clear when explaining what is happening, always taking into account the child's age, but never disguising the truth”, says child psychologist Michael Colinas.

The number of divorces per year has increased everywhere in the world. “With this new type of express divorce, couples have an outburst and the first thing they do is go to this resource that is so close at hand.

Patience and tolerance are qualities that are no longer in force in several cases. It is also true that in certain situations, getting a divorce is the best option. Based on experience, many women tolerate situations of great suffering just for the children’s sake until they realize they do not deserve to live in a constant crisis that also affects the children. Sometimes, the healthiest choice is keeping the distance without implying that one of the parents walks away from their responsibilities towards the child”, says the professional.

What is important in this difficult situation is to explain to the children that their parents are moving on, but that they should always remember that they are still their parents.

“Children between three and five years old are more likely to feel emotionally offended by this reality. Not only do they believe they are guilty for the divorce, but there are many cases in which symptoms can be avoided in a minor if the parents give them confidence and security”, says Codina.

Advice on divorce

- Parents should tell their children that they will both take care of them and give them what they need as often as possible;
- You should not speak ill of the other parent in their presence;
- Children should not be used as trophies or witness your fights;
- You should constantly mention that they are not responsible for your divorce;

Physical symptoms that a child may experience in divorce

- Sadness
- Depression
- Stomach aches
- Nausea and vomiting
- Nightmares
- Incontinence
- Constant headaches

Children can also develop a fear that the spouse who has been with them will leave him. “You must talk a lot to the children, you must listen to them and know what they feel and what happens. There is no need to be afraid of speaking freely. The relationship may have ended, but the parents should have a friendly relationship for their sake. Both must take part into the child's life in a present and active way and the child must be able to speak with both alike and to meet them both equally", concludes psychologist Codinas.