Infidelity And Mate Choice

If infidelity is your worst nightmare, you had better find out its causes and how to overcome it...

Infidelity in couples

Infidelity exists in most people as the worst betrayal and it is thought that the infidel is guilty of serious harm to the person and to the relationship, since it is assumed that the relationship has everything needed for each member partner to feel good.

We usually think of infidelity as being related to the extra pair sexual encounters. But there is also infidelity which is the result of the problems in the couple, this type of infidelity not being just about sex, because the infidel looks for what their partner is not and these interests can be intellectual, physical, emotional, economic or they might have to do with attention.

Infidelity can exist in a couple in different stages: dating, living together and marriage, partly as a response to the standards imposed by our society as we grow and are educated to think that monogamy is what our relationship should be based on.

Therefore, we have many educational arguments that shape the morals, values, customs, norms, behaviors and what is normal (according to a rule) in our society that tells us that we should live in a relationship. Fidelity itself is a form of social education and we must take into account that there are other ways, beliefs, values and customs.

Causes of infidelity

It is important to know that infidelity does not have a single cause, but that it is the result of many factors and they depend on each person and each situation. Therefore, it is very difficult to define what causes infidelity in general. However, among the factors that predispose people to infidelity is the one referring to the partner’s choice. Usually, the choice is made within the circle in which they hang around, i.e. the choice is limited by our activities, which give us the chance to "meet" or relate only to some people.

There are theories that there is research which tells us that we are attracted to people involved in the same activities, such as those which take place at school, college, at the sports club, that we look in our groups of friends, etc.

On the other hand, it may happen that mate choice is based on a need not to be lonely when all the other people in the group of friends have a partner. When you discover that your partner is not the solution to your problems, you look for another partner and establish an extra couple.

The above situations are ill-suited couple elections and as that is a selection of an inappropriate relationship, we choose the wrong behavior to solve the problems in our couple rather than bring the relation to fruition responsibly and honestly. There is no doubt about the fact that one of the behaviors that make a good relationship inoperative is infidelity.

Overcoming infidelity

However, in some cases, infidelity does not necessarily end a relationship. Although it is hard to believe, these problems can sometimes be put in a warning state, allowing the couple to rethink what is that keeps them together. The difficulty in this case is not only with forgiving, but with forgetting because everyone makes mistakes.

It is perhaps much more difficult to learn from mistakes, to promote confidence and restart a new relationship commitment, which is essential for a good relationship.