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How To End An Unhealthy Relationship

Keys and advice to end a dangerous relationship

We often meet someone, but eventually realize that we have only known a fraction of what they really are. Over time, we begin to notice that that person who was so kind in the beginning of the relationship begins to change. They begin to turn more violent, they begin to watch you without any justification, to verbally and physically assault you and so on. However, some women also go ahead with this relationship for fear of the man or for fear of being alone.

The secret to ending a dangerous liaison

Women sometimes get involved in a perverse kind of relationship without their will. It usually happens long before they realize what kind of person they are really living next to and reacting later can sometimes be very dangerous.

But let's start by defining what a dangerous relationship is: a relationship in which any member exercises some kind of violence on the other. The first symptoms that you are living such a situation are anxiety and subjugation.

However, such violence is often concealed under the cloak of love, since there can also be emotional abuse, not only physical. There are men who are zealous for no reason, who are possessive, controlling all the movements made by their partner. In other words, they are completely obsessive. Many also engage in violence throughout the sexual act with abusive situations they see as normal and even exciting.

But why do women fall into that trap since it is very difficult to get out? This is due to many factors, but the main one is usually that they feel very deeply in love at the beginning of the relationship, which, combined with their low self-esteem, makes the other have more authority over them.

Therefore, it is difficult to realize and get out of such relationships, but it is not impossible. The first thing you should do is to avoid blaming yourself for not having noticed that the man was violent or that the relationship was on its way to destroying you.

A person who commits violence over another they say they love suffers from a psychological illness, but they are compatible with other activities such as work. Therefore, it is very difficult to detect that personality and even less probable if your dreams include that person.

So, the important thing is not to blame yourself and to pay attention to early symptoms that make you feel bad, uncomfortable. Reacting is the key here. Falling in love is very dangerous because it seeks to justify everything. When you love, you lose the sense of reality and everything the other does seems good, even some kind of verbal and even physical violence.

Jealousy is a common evil. Although many people say it helps with keeping the relationship alive, we must take care not to be obsessive and excessive, since it becomes a sickness and we finally begin to doubt everything that our partner does. Jealousy is a form of control and gives the other some sort of security. The outer beauty often contrasts with the interior. The problem is to realize this in time.

The men who have this type of personalities are generally regarded as victims, but it is quite the opposite in reality because they are victimizing their partner. This persecution often goes far beyond jealousy and turns into reality. It begins with calls at any time and several times a day and continues with a follow-up of where the other person goes. In this case, it is very difficult to sever the relationship, so women remain in them although things are not really working out.

The thing is that not only men have this condition. Many women hide some type of violence as well. What prevails in their case is the emotional violence. The major difference is that men generally start a relationship with lower expectations, so they can get unhooked at the slightest indication that the woman suffers from this disease.

The ability to damage a person goes hand in hand with the one they are involved with. The violent person is always in need of a victim and the person often does not realize it.

Psychological effects

There can have very serious psychological consequences when you live a relationship of this type. Some of them would be the following:

- Depression
- Anxiety
- Feeling of being inferior
- Low self-esteem
The reality, however, is distorted.

How to say no

It often happens that the only problem for women is to say "no". They cannot say enough in difficult situations. In reality, they often feel that they do not want to continue the relationship, but they fail to externalize their feelings. These complications are often attached to their beliefs and how they were raised in their youth. Many disbelieve their own desires and only grant all of their partner’s requests.

The important thing is that you set your own limits because otherwise, the other person will advance and will know no barrier that they should not cross. That way, you are working for the other person, allowing them to treat you like an object and they can manipulate you any way they want.

So the key is to set your own limits, to not fear separation and to learn to say “no”.

Why do we like being victims?

The worst thing is to not really have a difficult relationship and pretend that you are trapped in it, posing as victims. Many people actually look for this role of victim in an unconscious way. This way, the adult no longer recognizes the role they should play in their relationship. They let themselves controlled by the other person. That makes them the center of the other person’s life.

Some people believe that only love can get them out of that situation, but in reality, it only helps with reversing the effect of the disease the other person has.

The offender’s characteristics

- They feel like failures and it is impossible for them to change.
- They repress their feelings of displeasure, until they explode and become violent.
- They are stressed and in a bad mood, which triggers their violence.
- They should be put in the victim’s shoes, not in the aggressors. They believe that all this is unavoidable due to their partner’s actions.
- They are careful not to show their violence or negative feelings out of the couple. Sometimes, however, they get out of control.

Features of the attacked

- They have a sense of guilt and need to pay.
- They live in fear.
- They hope that the assaults will disappear and that they can move on with the relationship.
- They are continuously deceived. Actually, they think the other person acts like that because of excessive love and because of what the different experiences they have had in life.

Test to see if the relationship is safe or dangerous

Now, here is a brief guide to see if you are prepared to repel a dangerous relationship:

1. When a man assaults me, the first thing that strikes me is:
A) the eye
B) the hands
C) what they say

2. The attitude is more seductive:
A) if they are sweet
B) if they make me feel like a queen
C) to see them better

3. In front of the mirror, I realize that:
A) I've changed a lot
B) I'm better than before.
C) I'm the same person I was 10 years ago

4. Choosing a dream vacation:
A) a quiet place to think.
B) a good journey to an unknown location.
C) a five-star hotel anywhere.

5. A perfect day for me is:
A) one on which I can overcome the setbacks.
B) when I receive unexpected news.
C) that on which I have no problem.

6. If I had to choose a color for a long dress, I would choose:
A) white
B) blue
C) violet

7. The geometric figure that I prefer is:
A) the circle
B) the square
C) the triangle.


Mostly A)

Calm and confident

You have confidence in yourself and in what makes you attractive as a person. You think you are worthy of the best and that it is safe to engage in dangerous relationships. If you come across such a man, you hardly engage in a relationship with him.

Mostly B)

A little shaky

You are well almost all the time, but when something goes wrong, you are depressed and your low self-esteem leads to some mistakes. This is when you are more vulnerable and exposed to falling into complicated relationships. You must be aware of your moods so that you do not fall into the trap.

Mostly C)


Your self-esteem is low. You can easily get involved with someone harmful. Try to ask why you fought with them. You want more and it all starts with the other loving you.

Tie between two responses

You handle different circumstances in a different way. You can go from being a very secure person to being a very vulnerable person overnight. Try to know which side you are on and then start a relationship.


During the first months of a relationship, the other acts as a mirror and you see yourself reflected in it. Your judgments are not objective, you only see what attracts you and you are comfortable with that person.

There are conflicts arising from the "baggage" you carry. Many people believe they deserve the bad that happens to them.

The future of a relationship depends on your self-esteem.

Pay attention to whether something is wrong or not and do not be afraid to cut it from the root.

Note that a person with these problems always needs a victim and ask yourself if one is willing to play that role.

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