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Divorced With Children

An unauthorized biography of a mother for her daughter

Your mom may be like Moni, the program on TV: married with children. Things can be almost, almost, the same.

She may be just as little as the protagonist, just as clueless (she may forget to buy toilet paper and realize just at the precise moment you're in the bathroom or match and curse in front of the stove in the kitchen), except for the fact that she has no husband. However, she had one: my dad (who, to make matters worse, was very similar to Pepe, the Moni’s fictional consort) and two children, my brother and I.

However, you may tell her that she does not need to be frightened. The difference is that this is a divorced mother with children and the other woman is married with children.

It seems that both women are a clone of the other and vice versa. For some say there is no better fiction than reality and we can understand why.

The other difference is that instead of having a dog: Fatigue, your parent may have a cat, Flannel, cat which is impossible to dislodge from the bed, especially from the spring box.

And every time your mother patacones repealing the anti-fleas and has to scrub all the floors which turn into desaromatized environments of unsterilized cat smell, you feel like burning your cat or who knows what else.

Besides, the cat and the dog also have to work. With their presence and aromas, they are supposed to be useful with scaring the rats on the street, the floor being very tempting for rodent presence.

Another work is to pay dues and the house does not reserve the right to refuse its entry, the cat in question begins to mate although it should be officially hunting the cockroaches in the house.

The thing is that the mom cleaned everything before it, leaving a smell of bleach, plus a smell that no rat or cockroach should get near.

The cockroaches are so vigorous that they seem to have trained with Schwarzenegger or to have gone to the gym, alternatively, because they enjoyed a very good health. Those who fell upside down because of the poison seem to act just to annoy us.

But the mom gets tired of all these things and she resigns, dedicating herself to pure idleness.

Miss Flannel, the misia cat, which the Egyptians worship, is taught not to quit in any situation, regardless of how absurd it may be to solve it or to live up to the expectations.

Mom did not divorce, the divorce is different. Suddenly, we learn that we have to do a whole lot of work to win back the friends who, like all women, made the mistake of living on their men’s side.

When she returns and there is no man, the friends are not in much mood to receive her in the friendly guild, to which she belonged until she got married.

That is, from the hook in the book, she ceased to belong and that became a problem when she ceased to be married and wanted to return to the group of friends she had.

If a woman gets married and finally gets divorced, wanting to be accepted in the circle once again, she may be faced with reactions such as the following: Aah, no, you did not get divorced, like us. You divorced, which is different.

The woman gets anger, but finally accepts the reality, although this is very difficult for her. Regaining your friends is a separate issue because you may hear it's too late as they are now the ones who want to be without you.

After you shed all the tears, you come to ask yourself if it better to be off alone than in bad company and you get back to mourning again. Some even get to believe this and this is just sad.

After a while, things get better, you leave the Dad, you get separated, but more or less in good terms and you become friends with the girls. Everything is back to normal until you seek a younger friend.

Of course, comparing yourself with the youngest, you appear to be older and the mirror does not discuss it. This mirror shows the way you feel, this making you look older. You are more troubled and this is what causes you to think of yourself as an old person. However, there are things you can change about that.

“Skin deep older”, the mother snorts with resignation. To top it off, the child accidentally puts their foot down every now and then, with their friend, a teenager like them and invites the mom to Palermo, for instance. They do it with the innocence of those who do not have billions of things to do, who have two children, work, study and have a cat, a huge pair of skates (the new ones which are designed in an incredible aerodynamic way), skating being an ideal exercise for strengthening the legs and buttocks even more.

Having at hand the excuse and the old trick “I got a speck in the eye that makes me teary”, you do not walk from newsprint in this stage of the game. You may be a veteran, but this does not mean that everyone has to believe you.

Wrinkles are not far behind and they are a separate chapter. Also, you send the children away in order for them not to see you cry and this is something that only emphasizes the fact that something is wrong and that they do not have the right to know about it.

So, the poor woman lives with a frown, one in order not to drop the glasses and the other to give a visual kick, with a glare that would better be replaced by a real kick in the ankles. This is when the children join their mother and start listening to her, in case she wants to tell them something.

Another issue that the mother has is a disorder with her legs, which will melt down and since the other is not at home, she does not have to spread around and go because there is really nothing to be afraid of or to run from, like she would run from dandruff.

And then come the goalscorers, something may prefer to talk about. That topic is very sensitized. It is unbearable for a woman to be ignored all the time. She gets to ask herself whether anybody looks at her once in a while and she gets tired of contradicting when complimenting the way to school.

She may be more attractive and the man may admit it. On the other hand, the other, the younger friend, in contrast, changes her boyfriends every night and the mother spends her time crying every night. Of course, when it comes out, she becomes radiant and she may think that it was better not to leave in the first place.

So, to cut it short, this may be a note from a daughter, mother, no father and it may not be a matter of wanting to kill him. Yet, neither the mother nor the daughter has any boyfriend and friends that are younger and that need a change every night.

And one thing is to tell it, another to write it and living it is very different, but you have to rely on the unauthorized biography of the mom, who is divorced with children and that has no reason to walk around envying Moni, who is married with children. At least, she has her husband around all the time.

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